Leadership Not Lordship
This is our 14-year old son, Ken. For the record, I would NEVER wear my hair this way! Did I say NEVER? As you can see, he’s quite the Pat Mahomes fan as are millions of people these days. As we were leaving a Chiefs game this year, because of the head-wrap and physical resemblance, Ken was genuinely asked by a fan if he was related to Pat Mahomes? Made his year!
As our children get older, it is overtly clear that we must allow them to make certain decisions without seeking our input. At times, this can be hard. Watching them make an unwise purchase or saying, “No” to an opportunity/experience that we believe would be beneficial and enjoyable for them are episodes we’ve endured. Their walk with God is becoming more of their own by the day and a critical part of that is them learning how to steward their liberty in Christ. As believers, there are decisions they are free to make in Christ. And just because I am their father, as long as their decisions do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, I do not get to hijack their liberty.
As it has been pointed out, the role of the teacher in discipleship is very parental in practice. Like parents, teachers love, teach, comfort, care for, counsel, protect, and lead. However, like parenting, there is a line that teachers must always respect in the discipleship process. Teachers can never forget that God is the heavenly Father of the disciple and He rules them according to His Word. A sobering reality in ministry leadership is that the trip from leadership to lordship can be a short one. Even if it is unintentional, all leaders have the propensity to land here if not careful.
In guarding against this in discipleship or ministry leadership in general, there are two principles to always be mindful of:
1. Be Clear where the Bible is Clear.
Gal 1:3 Grace be to you and peace from God the Father, and from our Lord Jesus Christ, 4 Who gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver us from this present evil world, according to the will of God and our Father: 5 To whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
The will of God can be simply defined as, the desire of God. As teachers, it’s never about what we personally desire in the life of the disciple. Everything that the Lord Jesus Christ did during His earthly ministry was to satisfy the desire of God (Mat. 26:39; John 8:29). Given that God has magnified His Word above all His name (Psa. 138:2), definitively, we can conclude that what God desires of the disciple is “clearly” stated in His Word. The Bible is not ambiguous or vague here. That said, in discipleship, the teacher should be clear where the Bible is clear. If a disciple crosses a clearly defined line in the Word of God, the teacher should put the disciple in remembrance of what God desires in their life:
2 Pet. 1:12 Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of these things, though ye know them, and be established in the present truth.
2. Be Quiet where the Bible is Quiet.
Mar 7:7 Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.
The Scribes and Pharisees were guilty of adding things to the Word of God that were not there. This is a staple practice in legalism. This is also how leaders go from leadership to lordship. As I was taught many years ago, “The only person who sees everything the way you do, is you!” Therefore, it is unwise to attempt to make others see everything the way that we do. This leads to lording over the disciple in discipleship (1 Pet. 5:3), which is carnal.
As teachers, our goal is not to see the disciple align their lives with our personal preferences or convictions. We have music genres that we like, dietary preferences that we prefer, and certain styles of dress that work for us. In Christ, we get to make these decisions. The problem arises when these “preferences” are presented to the disciple as, “The Bible says” and they are somehow not right with God if they aren’t on board with these things.
Over the years, I’ve observed that some ministry leaders profess to be champions for liberty in Christ until someone exercises their liberty in a way that they wouldn’t. Sadly, this has led to harsh criticisms and even division between good men.
When it comes to issues of liberty, not sin, the teacher takes a gracious approach and bridles their tongue. A good rule to remember is, if the Bible is silent, unless asked, our opinion does not matter. That sounds simple, but the older we get, the more passionate we tend to become in our opinions. But where the Word of God is clear, let’s speak the truth in love.
As teachers, we are called to lead not lord.
