I’ll Be There for You
For a few years of my childhood, my family’s Thursday night routine was well-established. When my siblings and I got home from our after-school activities and my parents got home from work, we ate dinner together as a family. We then cleaned up the table, washed, dried, and put away all the dishes, and made our way to the living room where we got ready for “must-see TV”. While the content may have been inappropriate for a pre-teen, I always looked forward to the latest episode of “Friends.” From the opening credits with the catchy song, to the funny one-liners, my family and I were all in.
I still remember the episode where Phoebe sang “Smelly Cat” at the coffee shop and the time when Joey was a soap-opera star. Of course, the drama in the relationship between Ross and Rachel sticks out, especially the “we were on a break” incident. Visiting the jellyfish exhibit at the zoo brings back the memory of Chandler relieving the pain in Monica’s foot brought on by the jelly fish sting. The dynamic relationship between the characters of this classic show has never been recreated in another sitcom and most of the individual actors have failed to find similar success in their solo careers. In other words, they were better together. As the song says, they were there for each other. Perhaps what made “Friends” so popular was that people could see themselves in the characters. People could relate to the laughter, the drama, and the give and take of friendship.
On a deeper level, all people desire relationships. This inner desire for relationships led me, as a young boy, into a friendship with Bryce. We loved playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and riding bikes together. At recess, we raced to the playground to be the first to the swings or the monkey bars, where we’d alleviate the rigors of 1st grade by swinging and climbing. While I don’t remember much about our friendship, I remember that we loved being together. Because of this, it was all the more heartbreaking when my mom told me Bryce and his family were moving away. Though very young, I was very sad, and I thought I’d never be able to have another friend like Bryce.
You’d think this heartbreak would have led me to be anti-social or to avoid making friends. However, that innate desire for relationships quickly led me to making new friends. Before long, I was playing Nintendo and pretending to be the Chicago Bulls or Duke Blue Devils on the playground at school with a new set of friends. (For those who haven’t yet done the math, I was in elementary school in the early 90s. Also, the 90s Bulls were the best sports team of all time, and Michael Jordan is the GOAT.)
While I won’t bore you with all the details of my friendships, I’m guessing you can all relate to what I’ve been saying. We all desire friendships and we’ve all had friendships that worked really well and others that ended in disappointment. As a universal experience, then, it’s worth our time to be familiar with at least a little of what the Bible says about friendship. Of course, one blog post could never be enough to cover all the Bible teaches about this topic, but we’ll discuss a few of the highlights.
The book of James gives us insight into one of the most important men in the Bible and his relationship with God. James 2:23 says: “And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God.” This verse reveals much about the God of the Bible and the way He interacts with His creation. First, God is available; He clearly made Himself known to Abraham. How could Abraham have believed in God if God had not revealed Himself? Beyond that, God credited Abraham with righteousness just because Abraham believed what God said. The God of the Bible was clearly interested in a relationship with Abraham, and He made it possible for this relationship to happen. We also learn about the nature of this relationship: after Abraham believed God, God became Abraham’s friend. This speaks of a God who is accessible – He didn’t set up some arbitrary rules or rituals for Abraham to follow – Abraham entered a relationship with God simply through faith.
In Exodus, God forms a special relationship with Moses. Exodus 33:11 says: “And the Lord spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend.” God was not a virtual friend to Moses. He was an in-person, real-life, sit-down-and-drink-coffee-together friend. God was interested in Moses’s life. He wanted to spend time with Moses. He was never too busy to meet with Moses. When Moses needed to move from Egypt to Canaan, God showed up to help and He even bought dinner for the forty-year move.
We must not allow our friendship status with God to diminish our respect for Him. His position as the friend of those who believe in Him does not belittle Him or undermine His power or authority. If anything, it reveals His character. God, who literally created and sustains the universe, is able to be friends with humans without compromising who He is. How many of us have compromised our character or values because we wanted to fit in or have more friends?
At the same time, we run the risk of taking God for granted and taking advantage of Him. If we just see Him as another friend, we’re likely to miss His birthday or blow off a meeting with Him, but God deserves better. In fact, Jesus tells his disciples they should obey his commands if they want to be his friends (John 15:14). This invitation to friendship isn’t Jesus setting up conditions for being His friend, it’s Him being consistent with his character and it’s him expecting nothing more than any of us would expect from a friend. Jesus is Holy and holiness is required to be in His presence. At a minimum, this is obeying His commands. We can be saved, we can be Christians, we can be His children through faith, but to be his friends, we must obey Him. None of us would accept a friend who never listened to us. None of us should be friends with someone who expects us to fundamentally change who we are.
“We must not allow our friendship status with God to diminish our respect for Him.”
Over the years, I’ve learned that God isn’t like my other friends. God literally always shows up, and He’s never late. In my relationship with God and others, I’ve been selfish, I’ve sought my own good ahead of that of my friends, I’ve failed to keep my word, I’ve missed birthdays and anniversaries, and I’ve talked about my friends while they weren’t around. In short, I’ve been a bad friend. Despite my shortcomings, I have been blessed with many great friendships throughout my life, and I only recently started realizing what God was teaching me through those relationships. In fact, it was during a season of loneliness that I re-assessed my relationship with the Lord and realized how important friendships are. When many of my long-established friendships faltered, God was there for me. Though I didn’t enjoy it at the time, I’m thankful for this lesson.
While it seems nice (and is technically correct) to say that God is the only friend you need, the Bible clearly demonstrates that friends are essential to complete God’s mission. There should be no lone-ranger Christians. We are better together. God should be your closest friend, and He’ll certainly be the best friend you’ll ever have. Developing a great relationship with a God who wants to be our friend will impact all our other relationships. Work at being God’s friend and your other friendships will improve.
Maybe you don’t have a friendship with God. If you are His child, then friendship with God is available. Start spending time with Him. Start reading His word and praying. Get to know Him. If you’re not His child, then you need to put your faith in Him. God placed a desire in your heart for relationships, and the most important and fundamental relationship you’ll ever have should be with God. Maybe you’re a Christian who lacks genuine friendships. I encourage you to be friendly (Proverbs 18:24). Pray for God to give you friends and then go about the work of building relationships. The friendships you develop may not be famous enough for a reunion show, but they’ll be life-giving and God-glorifying.
Todd Franks is a husband and a father and a leader of LIFE Fellowship. He also serves in the Connections ministry at Midtown Baptist Temple.
LIFE|Line is a ministry of Life Fellowship, a fellowship of Midtown Baptist Temple.
