Everyday Dad

I am just sitting here with my wife in our Adirondack chairs in our backyard, by the clover patch all in blossom. The bees and butterflies are just doing what they do, and we just enjoy watching them. They are perfectly obedient to the creator God their entire life, every day. It is a beautiful May afternoon in Missouri, with a blue sky and white clouds floating by. God made a perfect world. I am amazed at His talent. I noticed in Genesis 2:7 that God created this beautiful earth and all the plants and herbs of the field and that He needed a farmer to take care of it, so He created man.

This brings me to the subject of dads. My dad was a farmer, and I am from generations of dads who were farmers, so I have to dig in the dirt. We usually have a vegetable garden and a flower garden, to take us back to our roots and keep us grounded. It is funny how man gets educated and moves to the big city and yet wants a country place to retire or grow a garden (do some farming). City people will even put dirt up on top of buildings to grow plants, or lawns, or trees. We still have our connection to Genesis 2:5-7; we were formed to till the ground.

My dad was an everyday dad. He had three sons, and every day we were with him. Whatever he was doing, we boys were doing, too. Before school we were working with him, and after school we were working with him. He was teaching us and training us continuously how to be responsible, honest, hardworking, prosperous, and Godly men. I wanted to be as good of a dad as he was, every day.

“City people will even put dirt up on top of buildings to grow plants, or lawns, or trees. We still have our connection to Genesis 2:5-7; we were formed to till the ground.”

Here is something to note, when you are raising children, training them up, they are going to turn out to be a lot like you are. Some of your faults could show up in them, but don’t blame them for that. Being a dad is a constant and intentional state of being. You could be asked to step up to the task at any moment, and you need to be intent on taking the time and putting your heart and mind into it. It means so much to a child just to have dad spend time with him. I am using the gender term “him” because all of my children were born male, and they still are male. I have no experience with daughters, but I do have granddaughters and they are grand!

I was just a young twenty-four-year-old, lost and wondering. It was 1977 when I came to town in my 1968 Camaro, all by myself. Now, in 2023, you would have to charter a bus to get the Fyffe’s “out of Dodge.” Let me tell you about a blessing. In a word, God. Yes, God brought His man, Ken Harrell, my way and opened the Bible and confronted this sinner with the gospel of Jesus Christ, and I got saved. I was given a new name, “Christian”, and I liked it. Life has not been the same since. Of course not. When you are born into a new life, life can't be the same; life is new. You are born of the Spirit; the Holy Spirit of God moves into your soul. All of a sudden God became my Heavenly Father, so all of His sons and daughters became my brothers and sisters. I had a family in Kansas City.

Oh, the grace of God! He blessed me with a wife—my wife, my amazing wife, just what I needed, on October 14th, 1978. I was given another new name, “husband,” and I liked it. We met in Monday night Bible study, and obviously I was studying more than just the Bible. You know how it goes, when a young man and a fair young damsel are in the same field (example: Ruth 2:5). If you want The Heavenly Father to answer your prayers, then let Him become your Heavenly Father.

God was not done blessing me. On February 20th, 1980, my wife gave birth to our first-born son, James. Man, what a fine-looking boy! I was given a new name again, “father,” and I liked it. It was quite the experience when one day I heard him call me “daddy.” I felt so grown up, but actually I had a lot of growing up to do. I went from being a son to having a son. God sacrificing His only begotten son was more real and heartfelt to me now. God kept on blessing with two more beautiful sons: Paul in October 1982, and Nate in November 1988.

As I was trying to bring my boys up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, they could see that the Bible was important to us. They could see that church was important to us. I thank God for a good church and the teaching that we had there. It doesn’t really “take a village,” but a strong godly community does help. As I was teaching my boys, I was also learning a lot of fun from my boys. I was a fully grown man, a father of three, before I learned to snowboard and do rock climbing. James wrestled, then Paul wrestled, then Nate wrestled, and they all wrestled Dad, of course. Paintball and mountain biking are two other activities that come to mind. We spent days and days as a family camping, with all of the activities that go with that. There was laughing and crying along the way, and all of the injuries seemed to heal.

Linda was the best “Titus 2:5” keeper at home. The family grew from home and the family still gathers often back at home. Dads, take good care of your woman, the mother of your children. She should never be taken for granted or mistreated. She has a near death experience to bring you your children. Let your gratefulness show by being attentive to her needs and teaching your children to obey and love her dearly. She is always busy as a bee attending to the needs of her family. The price of rubies could not replace her. I would be a lame dad without her.

I actually have learned some husband and parenting skills from my sons. How can that be? Well, there are areas where they have been more obedient to the word of God than I was. That’s what it comes down to, you know. It comes down to living out the word of God in your everyday life, not just hearing it. Jesus said in Luke 6:46:

And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?

If you don’t set up your house obeying the word of God, great could be the fall of it. James 1:22 says:

But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.

Even in the Old Testament, it is about obeying the word. Deuteronomy 30:14 says:

But the word is very nigh unto thee, in thy mouth, and in thy heart, that thou mayest do it.

The proof is in the pudding. What does the life of your children and grandchildren look like? How is their walk with the Lord? That says a lot.

Fathers, keep your children’s heart. Even discipline should be an act of love. Don’t discipline your child when you are angry, because the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God (James 1:20, Ephesians 6:4, and Colossians 3:21). I am thinking that if we work diligently at teaching our children good behavior with love, we won’t have to work so hard at trying to remove bad behavior. Train up a child in the way he should go (Proverbs 22:6a). The church in Thessalonica was dear unto Paul and he exhorted, comforted, and charged them as a father does his children. Dad, your home needs to be a peaceful, safe, and secure place of love, acceptance, and encouragement. You do not want your child to have to look for this somewhere else.

What if you have a child who goes astray? What do you do then? Who is to blame? Well Dad, one thing you don’t do is go astray yourself. Be a good soldier of Jesus Christ, endure hardness (2 Timothy 2:3). Assume some blame. Say you are sorry. Draw closer to God. Be a better person because of your trial. God will walk with you. He feels your pain. God does have a perfect plan for those who go astray and get drawn into the ways of the world. Remember he said that all we like sheep have gone astray, but God is stable, and He is always there to come back to. Dad, be there for your son to come back to; that’s really what he needs. Always reach out to him. Always receive him well. The father of the prodigal son in the Bible ran to meet him and had forgiveness and acceptance. Let him see that home is always there for him. I think that whenever a son has left home, there is a dad that has left home first. In some way, he has left being obedient to his Heavenly Father.

Oh, how God has blessed me. I am full and he keeps on blessing. God is worth your time and energy. He loves you enough to save you from eternal death and give you eternal life. He loves you enough to guide you through the ups and downs of life. If you are like me, you will have ups and downs in your life. Let Jesus be your Lord. There is not a lot that you can be sure of in this life, but you can be sure of the faithfulness of God. Lamentations 3:22-23 says:

[22] It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. [23] They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

Doug Fyffe and his wife Linda attend LIFE Fellowship and both serve in Kidtown at Midtown Baptist Temple, working with the Kindergarten children. They each lead a Bible study for older adults. Doug also serves as a deacon and is on the altar team.

LIFE|Line is a ministry of Life Fellowship, a fellowship of Midtown Baptist Temple.