Motherhood 101: Be Like Jesus
Aside from their relationship with the Lord, our children’s most important relationship is with us, their parents. God placed them under our authority and gave us the responsibility of training them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a pretty important task. There are so many philosophies regarding parenting, but the Bible does give us a few areas that our children should be growing in, just like Jesus did. We should be the example in these areas and be like Jesus. Momming is hard and so is following Jesus, but it is worth it.
First of all, we know little about Jesus’ life before His formal ministry, but the Bible gives us a tiny glimpse into His childhood in Luke chapter 2. We all know the story. . . Jesus and his family go to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover when Jesus is twelve years old (v.42). Jesus is left behind and is found in the temple among teachers listening, understanding, and asking questions. The chapter ends with two verses we can totally use in biblically parenting our children. Luke 2:51-52 says:
And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.
This world and Satan work hard to destroy the parent/child relationship. Think of how Satan chose to not submit to God’s authority. He would love nothing more than to see our children rebel in the area of submission. Our home is like basic training before our kids enter the war zone of this world. The relationship between parents and children will affect all other relationships. Children who refuse to put themselves under the authority of their parents will struggle with other relationships. On the contrary, teaching our children to submit to our authority leads to learning to submit to the rules of our society, church, their future husband/wife relationship, and other authorities in general. This will ultimately lead to submitting to God.
The Bible makes it super clear that we are the number one earthly authority for our children. Ephesians 6:1-2 commands our children to obey and honor their parents. We can teach submission in a variety of ways and the earlier the better. Knowing our children and their natural responses will help be a guide in this area. There are so many practical ways this can play out in our homes, such as the way we discipline, give our children chores/responsibilities, place our children under others’ authority (examples: Sunday school teachers, coaches, babysitters, etc.), and live it out in our own lives. We are the example they are watching. So, we need to submit to the laws, our bosses, our spouse, and others as a model to follow. This includes when we don’t agree and submit willingly anyway, as well as asking for forgiveness when we do mess up. As moms, it is important we teach, leading by example and gently guiding our children into submission.
According to verse 52 of Luke 2, Jesus was increasing in wisdom as a child. I often think that wisdom is for old people, but what is wisdom? Wisdom is the ability and willingness to base all of our thoughts, actions, and decisions on the principles of the Word of God. Is it possible for a non-believer to be growing in wisdom, then? I think that leads us to our first mom job: teaching our children about Jesus (working together with the church body) and praying fervently for their salvations and growth. Some practical ways we make the Word of God a priority in our lives are: reading the Bible individually and collectively, sharing the gospel with our children repeatedly (and never forcing it upon them), memorizing scripture, making Bible teaching memorable and fun, having family devotions, sharing God’s blessings/goodness, and being an example to our children.
Prayer is also vital to gain wisdom. His Word literally tells us that if we lack it, we should ask for it, and He will give it to us (James 1:5). It is important to make prayer a daily part of our lives and our kids’ lives. My advice is to just do it all the time and then it becomes normal. We have done many things over the years to help our children pray at their physical and spiritual level such as prayer sticks, visual lists, journals, and praying instantly and consistently for the needs of fellow believers. Again, and most importantly, we model prayer on a daily basis.
Moreover, the church has a vital role—not the main role but a vital one, in helping to train up our children. Although most of our children's time is spent with us, they do have a special opportunity to be a part of a larger body of believers. Many young people are seeking a place to belong. The church (and of course our family) can fulfill this need. Both of my children have been blessed to be a part of good children’s ministries and youth groups. Practically, we are involved. We work together with teachers and leaders and know what is being taught in order to discuss it. Our children help us plan lessons to teach in Kidtown and we volunteer together in areas such as cleaning the church, hospitality, and the café. We bring our kids on missions’ trips. We hang out with other believers. We help our children make wise choices with their friends. We are also purposeful to not talk negatively about church or church leaders/members. I have attended Moms’ Groups in order to glean from other moms (it is like continuing education in the world of momming). Our children see us reading the Bible, praying, and being part of the church. We are their example.
“What is right and true? The Word of God. That is the only standard we should have in our home. There is comfort and protection in that.”
The second area of growth listed in verse 52 is stature, or maturity. Just like Jesus, our children are physically, socially, and mentally maturing. A lot of character development happens from childhood to adulthood, and habits are forming at young ages and shaping their future character. Brain development is occurring from the start and continuing throughout their childhood. Our children instinctively are searching for a place to belong. Their childhood is preparing them to make future decisions. Pending their spiritual growth, kids can also develop spiritual habits for themselves. As moms, we should be instilling manners, studying character qualities with our children, encouraging our children, creating and maintaining responsibilities/chores within our family structure, teaching them how to share the gospel, mentoring, and discipling them. It is our job to come alongside them as they are maturing, or growing, in stature. We are their example in spiritual growth.
Luke 2:52 continues to say that Jesus increased in favor with God. Unlike the favor of men, God’s favor is based on the heart (because He can see it!). We can receive God’s favor by first accepting Him as our Lord and Savior (Proverbs 8:35) and then living a righteous life. Our thoughts and actions, and our children’s thoughts and actions, should line up with what is right/true. What is right and true? The Word of God. That is the only standard we should have in our home. There is comfort and protection in that. It is not just what we say or think, but what God thinks. It is our job as parents to point our kids toward the Word of Life and help them to not do what is right in their own eyes. A huge part of that is living a righteous and selfless life for our children to see and use as an example. As parents, we should also openly communicate about temptations and sin and the consequences of sin.
God also desires from us and our children a pursuit of wisdom. Again, seeking the Lord and His Word first should be top priority in our lives and encouraged in our children’s lives. It is a privilege for us to seek and serve Him and others with our lives. He provides His favor on our lives in return (and our heavenly lives, too). We should model and involve our kids in being cheerful givers and doing good deeds (Mathew 6:3). Our goal is to be like Jesus and to mimic Christ. Our children are prone to mimic us, so we are to be the hands and feet of Jesus. It is also worth mentioning Proverbs 18:22:
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
Encourage our boys to find a righteous, wisdom-seeking, God-fearing woman, and train up our girls to be just that. ☺
Luke 2:52 concludes with the last area in which Jesus grew: the favor of man. We want our children to have the approval or support (favor) of others. There are many ways we can help assist our children in this area. One of my favorite verses provides a great measuring tool for this. I Timothy 4:12 says:
Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
It is possible for our children to gain the respect of adults and be admired among their peers. I Timothy gives us a clear picture on how NOT to be despised, and therefore have favor with men, including teachers, pastors, and others, as well as their peers. Practically, our words, or speech, speak volumes about who we really are. What is inside always comes out. Even the tone of how we speak makes a difference. The Bible has so many verses regarding our tongues. My main takeaway is summed up in Proverbs 15:2:
The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.
Conversation, or behavior, reveals itself in attitude, manners, and how others perceive us. What do others think about the behavior of our children? The answer matters.
Furthermore, our children can have their own sincere faith. They can pray and walk with the Lord on their own. At some point, they can share their faith. Our boys are learning how to do this by participating in Bible studies (with us and with peers) and observing our walks with the Lord. We have the responsibility to help our kids protect their purity and be discerning. Our society is throwing so much at our children. We, as parents, are the gatekeepers to television, social media, their phones, etc. We should also be teaching modesty and holding them to high standards. Lastly, we are to aid our kids in making good decisions regarding their friends/peers. Proverbs 13:20 reminds us that those who walk with the wise will be wise, but a companion of fools will be destroyed. We need to encourage them to be friendly, be themselves, love their enemies, and not be hypocritical. Again, we need to model good godly relationships and purity in our own lives.
“God gives us unending grace, and it is our responsibility to pour out that grace to those around us.”
I am going to wrap up by going back to our main verse, Luke 2:51. Jesus is our ultimate example. He remained subject to Joseph and His mother. It is so important that our children learn to be submissive. We should strive to be moms (parents) that our children want to submit to, just like the God we desire to be subject to. We must spend quality time with our children. This includes knowing our children and being present with them. I have found that learning the way my children learn has helped, as well as learning their love languages. Each child learns and loves differently, therefore we teach and express our love toward them differently. Being present is difficult with all the distractions, but we can also be an example in this area. We must love them unconditionally and offer unending grace. When we fail and turn into “mommy monsters,” we make sure we ask for forgiveness from our Father and our children.
I am quite certain that when my parents named me Ana, they were unaware of the meaning of it. Ana means full of grace. That is exactly how I would describe how God the Father parents me, as well as how I do (or at least should) parent my own children: full of grace. God gives us unending grace, and it is our responsibility to pour out that grace to those around us. This most definitely includes the precious children He has entrusted us with on the earth. As moms, we are to teach our kids about Jesus, as well as be an example of Him. Grace is a gift He has given us. It is humbling, and it is hard to give (and receive) at times.
In conclusion, be the example for your children and be like Jesus-spend quality time with Him (and your children), love unconditionally, and be graceful and forgiving.
Momming is hard and so is following Jesus, but it is worth it.
Ana Franks is wife to Todd and mom to Elliot and Oliver. Todd and Ana attend Life Fellowship and lead the Connections ministry at Midtown Baptist Temple. They also enjoy serving in Kidtown, Missions Team, discipleship, and other MBT ministries together and as a family.
LIFE|Line is a ministry of Life Fellowship, a fellowship of Midtown Baptist Temple. 